she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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