Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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