Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Still dying that you shit outside
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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