Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
