i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I am one with the molecules
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
