your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Houston, we have a blender
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize