I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
