She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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