I am full of burrito and curiosity
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
