tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
