I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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