Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
