Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
