she was so not down for the gang bang
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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