i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
