If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
