No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
please don't ironically join a cult
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