I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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