I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
