Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize