i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
