I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize