Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
