You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
