It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
