I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
