Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
