the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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