just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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