I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
