hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
