awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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