Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
