my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
