After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
high people should be assigned attendants
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
