just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Randomize
