So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
