At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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