all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
