Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
