i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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