It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
