he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
