its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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