I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
