I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
