i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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