you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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