I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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