hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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