I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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