Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
