do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
