Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
