i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
