the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize