he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
